all or nothing

in a recent conversation with my son’s teacher

she told me that

‘he can often avoid participating in task and activities if he thinks he either wont be able to do it first time, or he wont be the best’


that is 100% me

he inherited that from me

*hangs head in shame*

answers on a post card if you know how to undo that!

ki x


i just wanted to clear up something

i am not a health guru,

nor a fitness fanatic or a wellness goddess

but i am a fussy, controlling stress head

i know what i like and what i don’t like

so when i launched ‘the retreat’

it was never to claim those crowns

it was to create a space, curate an environment

focus on ‘health, wellness & happiness’

with the help & assistance of all the best goddesses, gurus and fanatics that i can lay my hands on

ki x

ps check out our Retreat page on the blog to see what we are planning in november



not zen

so in my pursuit of happiness

i have been proactively seeking ways to address the stress

i’ve read books

i’ve used apps

i’ve changed my diet

i’ve taken up hobbies

i’ve drunk

i’ve exercised

i’ve not drunk

i’ve attempted yoga (im appalling at this)

but i’m not there yet

is it possible i will never


be zen?

ki x

the juggle

i really enjoy being busy

but recently found myself feeling a tad anxious

most of the time i feel like i am a skilled juggler

and other times i feel like i’ve not only dropped a few balls

but i have no idea were they went, what they looked like

or how many balls i started off with

i’ve just taken on a few extra extra curricular activities

and had a wabble

im sure the ball i just dropped wasn’t important

but i cant be 100% sure

ki x

lets talk about love (island)

i’m totally glued to the tv and have been for the last week

i’m watching a bunch of scantily clad twenty somethings

attempt to woo each other

i love it

i have no idea why it is such addictive viewing

maybe it is watching the mating rituals up so close

maybe it is listening in on the will they or wont they conversations

or maybe it is the entertainment that comes from

watching a romance go from 0-100 in 24 hours

obviously peaking far too soon

sorry to put a dampener on things


something doesn’t sit that well with me

it is so sexy and staged

actually it is too sexy and too staged

and the initial matching up at the start of the series is so brutal!!

can you imagine being included in that process?!?

DISCLAIMER – i have watched every series and will continue to do so

but setting up situations that encourage feelings of jealousy and highlight insecurities

cant be a positive thing right?

would it be as addictive viewing if they didn’t do that? i’m not so sure

i watch it with my husband and we giggle about their antics

but if my daughter was older im not sure i would let her watch it

also i just heard one of them say

‘i’m in to older girls, because you know, i’m 31 so them being 25-26 is good’

jeeeeez louise – i’m old

ki x




pissy pants

we are about to be knee deep in pissy pants

bea has shown lots of signs she is ready to start potty training

but i’m not ready

as much as nappies are expensive

and nappy changing is often both time consuming and smelly

toilet trips and potty dashes are worse

its pretty difficult to ask a 2 year old to just hold it

you know, until we get to the next services

or until we get home

i cant actually remember many accidents when we were potty training Stan

so i did some research and as a result

today we invested in

  • 35x pairs on knickers – so we can throw the worst away!
  • 20x pairs of socks – as these will evidently get wet too!
  •  and finally 2x pairs of crocs  (apparently these are great as when they do get covered in wee you can disinfect them and wipe dry! who knew??)

so we are ready

well she is and i’m pretending i’m ready

ki x


a list of the (stupid) things i get stressed about part.2


  • when you wait in all day for a delivery and it never turns up
  • bad customer service
  • doing Stanley’s homework
  • being late
  • when i wear open toe shoes and it rains
  • the central line
  • finding nice clothes/shoes/jewellery but not in my size
  • lack of sleep
  • going shopping but forgetting to take bags
  • people who let their dogs poo outside my house and don’t pick it up
  • planning the kids birthday parties


ki x


first world stresses

i spoke to my husband this weekend about a few worries i have

mainly about how i am coping with my dads illness

i rarely feel comfortable enough to talk about it

but he is a good listener

and has learnt to stay shtum and listen

after which

we then went on to talk about the smaller stresses in our world

a broken phone, an unfinished diy project,

a messy garden & one of the kids being beyond mischievous

he smiled

which i thought was such a strange reaction

he labelled them ‘first world stresses’

and made me feel like a complete dick for moaning

he then went on to remind me

that i have a house, i have a job,

i have my health, we arent in a war zone

and (the one that really stuck with me)

i know where my children are

not everyone in the world is as lucky

ki x



best of a bad bunch

so it is that time again

time to decide who is going to lead this country

and lets be honest

it is a bit of a sh!t show

none of the leading parties are anything to write home about

and how on earth are they all allowed to lie, cheat and sling mud

and get away with it

(surely this constitutes gross negligence ?)

im bored of hearing about what shoes teresa may has on

and what corbyn said or did in his hay day

the public have a better grip on this slanging match than we do their policies

so i have voted

but if truth be told this is only the 3rd time i have ever voted

i have seen lots of coverage about how you must vote

yet there will still be so many people who will decide today not to vote

and it got me thinking

should voting be compulsory?

surely that way we will force a fair result

a result that is a true reflection of society

im not holding my breath for a happy outcome

(if brexit and trump are anything to go by, anything is possible)

but i will watch the results come in tonight

and nervously wait to understand how this will effect me and my children

the nations fate in the hands of someone I don’t trust

is just another thing to stress about

so i am adding that to the list

ki x