the forever home

home

we moved in to our house 3 weeks after giving birth to bea

(can you imagine the stress levels!!!)

it was rubbish timing

but the perfect house

we have slowly started to decorate each room

but we have been at it for 2 years and the place is still so far from being finished

we agreed at the beginning of the year to focus our time and efforts on our house

but we have been lured away with more exciting things to spend our time and money on

holidays, new shoes, music festivals, new phones, weekend breaks away

the list is endless

but it does make me stress

i just want to go away on holiday and come back and its all done

typing that just made me cringe – what a dick

we will continue to live in the half finished house and enjoy our lives

travel lots, buy new shoes and moan about the fact we haven’t finished the house

i quote a friend who said recently

‘when the kids grow up they will remember the time they went on holiday and not the time you bought a new kitchen’

so true

ki x

 

 

anti-social media

i am an anomaly

i don’t have facebook

and i don’t think i ever will

there is something intrusive about it that makes me uncomfortable

but the downside is as more and more people use it to promote events

arrange and send party invites

i get left out

‘hey kate, why didn’t you come the party?’

‘errr, i wasn’t invited!’

‘oh you aren’t on  facebook!’

when i launched the retreat so many people would encourage me to rethink my boycott

with the promise that my event will be a huge success if i signed up

i did take a second

literally a second

no thanks

ki x

the fear

it is tough to explain – but i will try

when you plan to do something really exciting

something you have never done before

you really cant wait to do it

but then out of no where

you hear a little voice

 

‘oh, but what if you aren’t very good?’

‘hold your horses, wont you have to meet new people’

‘wait a second, what if you say something stupid’

‘one more thing, what if they don’t like you’

right here, right now writing that seems so silly

so irrational

and it is.

this limits me and i hate that

i think i do a good job at hiding it so it might be a surprise for some

so now i have started to give myself a little talking to

it seems to be working

will keep you posted

ki x

 

sunday – funday

so far i am winning at half term

i know it is only day 2

technically the half term has not really started

we are still very much in the weekend

but today was good

with the weather uncertain so we hit the beach early

played on the sand

(only for 30 mins as the kids hate the sand as much as my husband does)

then moved to the grass to play with the frisbee and football

there were a few curve balls

a bee sting

a black eye from an umbrella

and 3x crazy tantrums

but we made it home in one piece

then i had a nap

ki x

i will keep you posted

 

control vs acceptance

i dont really know how to do this

if something is wrong, broken and painful

i feel like we should have the power to fix it

my dad is sick – as in sick sick

we cant fix it

and it stresses me out every second of every day

i try not to discuss it with anyone especially those i am close to

my sisters struggle with my inability to discuss it

but it is just far too painful

i cant control it but i have not accepted it

ki x

(another) half term

my kids appear to be on half term again next week

i knew it was creeping up

it is on every calendar and diary that we own

i potentially have been ignoring it, as half term just triggers lots of emotions for me 

firstly crazy mum guilt

as a full time working mum it feels impossible 

secondly total panic 

what/where/how shall  i entertain the kids ? 

there are no winners in the crazy battle of half term 

so i’m opting for an eclectic approach

a few days with the kids then a mix of pulling in favours from the trusty family tribe

but if i could i would place a little bet on the following :

the kids wanting to be with me on the days they are with their grandma

me taking them to places i think they will love but they actually hate

and me distracted at work wishing i was with the kids

half term i’m ready for you & everything you can throw at us 

i’m ready to give it my all – see you on the flip side 

ki x

the retreat

i struggle to find a peaceful environment

i love the idea of a spa but they often fall short of my expectation

so in my search for a peaceful space i have curated my own

i am hosting a women’s retreat in november at creeksea place barns in burnham

i am hoping to create a space when stressy people like me will be able to…

stop, pause, recharge

needs must

we don’t have a website, or facebook (both are far too stressful)

we will be on instagram

come say hi

ki x

sleepy head

i love sleep

and i have realised that i do need lots (8 hrs please)

a lack of sleep and i am an unproductive mess

(plus i get run down so easily without it)

so i take it seriously

i have been using this brainwave app for the last 6 months

and i highly recommend checking it out if you struggle with sleep

i am forever tossing and turning

really struggling to switch off

the app combines advance multi-stage binaural programs

aka brainwave frequencies

with ambient sounds or music

there are programs to help with sleep, stress, energy, mood and even confidence

i was dubious when i started listening but there is no doubt it works

i mainly use it on the deep sleep program

but recently tested the concentration program

the jury is still out on that one

ki x

 

 

 

 

sunshine

isn’t it incredible how the sunshine effects everyone

everyone is just that little bit happier

i have been stuck in the office most of the day

but i did go for a walk at lunch, down to the sea

it was so busy and everyone was so happy!

so many smiling, happy people

and it is going to stick around all bank holiday (so I have been told)

so  i’m gonna dust off the birkenstocks, find the sun lotion

and get out in it

soak up the vitamin d!

think the weekend is screaming for a bbq and a paddling pool!

no stress today 🙂

ki x

 

address the stress

so this blog was one of my first steps to attempting to address the stress.

i tend to adopt the ostrich approach

head so deep in the sand

i also agreed to attend a mothers meeting called ‘stress less’

it was so out of my comfort zone  – but people keep telling me that is in fact a good thing

the session was run by Aisha from http://www.createthegreat.com/

it forced me to think about what triggers my anxiety and stress

i think we addressed the tip of the iceberg

i think i might need longer than a couple of hours

highly recommend checking Aisha out

ki x